Support and Softness Can Coexist

Hi friend,

Thank you for every reply to last week's note. So many of you wrote some version of the same thing: I want to stop holding on so hard.

I hear that in the clinic too. Many of the women I work with are strong, capable, and used to carrying a lot. Somewhere along the way, the body learns that bracing feels safer than softening. The ribs stay tight, the shoulders creep up, the belly grips, and the breath gets shallow.

Here's what I want you to know: support and softness can coexist.

This week's teaching: you don't have to grip to be supported

Your deep core works best as a team. The diaphragm, abdominal wall, pelvic floor, and back ribs coordinate with your breath to manage pressure through the core canister. When we grip, that team stops communicating well. The breath has nowhere to go, so it often moves up into the neck and chest.

Softening is not the same as collapsing. It's allowing the ribs to widen, the back body to receive breath, and the deep core to respond gently instead of clenching. For many women, this is where real support begins.

A practice to try: back-body breathing with a towel roll

1. Roll up a small hand towel and lie on your back with your knees bent. Place the towel under your lower back ribs.
2. Let your shoulders relax down toward the floor. Let your jaw soften.
3. Inhale, then exhale completely. Notice the gentle tension in your belly as the exhale finishes.
4. Keep that gentle support, and guide your next inhale back into the towel, as if your ribs could widen into it.
5. Repeat for 5 to 8 slow breaths. If you'd like, silently say on each exhale: it is safe to let go.

You do not need to force more air. If anything feels strained, make the breath smaller. The towel is simply there to show you where the back body is.

A question to sit with

Where in your body do you hold on, even when you don't need to?

You don't need to fix it. Just notice it with curiosity this week.

From Ashley and me

This is the final week of the Academy's monthly rhythm, which is energetics. Ashley's teaching often explores grounding, receiving support, and letting go. It's an optional lens for reflection rather than a medical explanation, and it pairs beautifully with this kind of breath work. I think you're going to love learning with her.

Behind the scenes, we've been filming, writing, and setting up a space that feels calm and easy to find your way around. It's almost ready.

Expansion Academy opens Monday, November 2

Our first month is RECONNECT: Deep Core + Lower Abdominals, a gentle path for moving beyond gripping and sensing how breath, ribs, abdominal wall, pelvic floor, and adductors work together.

Founding Membership is $49/month, and you keep that rate for as long as your membership stays active. Founding enrollment closes Sunday, November 8.

Watch your inbox Monday morning. I'll send the link to join as soon as the doors open. And as always, hit reply and tell me what you noticed with this week's practice. I read every response.

Gratefully, Dr. Carolyn

Expansion Academy provides general education and guided movement. It is not physical therapy, diagnosis, or individualized treatment, and it does not replace care from your own medical provider or physical therapist.